Tekken: The Motion Picture - Somehow Not the Worst Tekken Iteration

Someone actually drew this.

Tekken: The Motion Picture

Directed by: Kunihisa Sugishima
Written by: Ryota Yamaguchi
Starring: nobody
Runtime: under an hour

I'm not entirely sure how long it's been since I began writing about the Tekken series, but I've never been one to give up on finishing what I start (unless it's my dreams). It's not like this has been a special review, long in the making: I've just been putting it off because I know exactly what it is. For me personally, Tekken died right after Tekken 3, so the initial plan was only to write about anything from the first game to the third, with anything in between. Sadly, this includes the anime that Japan saw fit to release on January 21st, 1998.

Announcing Our New Terrible Podcast

Terrible Podcast for Terrible Listeners

It is my great pleasure to announce to everyone who's been following this site that, in order to diversify the content we provide on an entirely irregular basis, Big Bob Pataki and I have collaborated on a brand new podcast. Mr. Pataki has seen fit to name it Reel Deal, No Sex Appeal (he confesses he can't even remember coming up with this name), and I wholeheartedly endorse it for its accuracy, if nothing else.

Fantasia 2000

Fantasia 2000

Fantasia was released some 77 years ago, a result of Walt Disney's misreading of the citizenry's support for animation. What should have been the zenith of Joe Public's recognition of animation as high art was instead a masterpiece that didn't make any profit until 1969 - 29 years after its initial release - and even then it was released as a sort of gimmick with a psychedelic-styled advertising campaign (if you need drugs to enjoy Fantasia, there is something dangerously wrong with you). Featuring some of the most beautiful animation the world had ever seen set to some of the most beautiful music the world had ever heard, with the entire crew working the hardest they ever had or would, the movie should have been the biggest thing to hit the art world, more powerful than a revolution - a giant steel obelisk standing as testament that none before or since would compare to the majesty of Disney.

But it didn't make enough money.

Wonder Woman or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Matriarchy

Pop quiz hotshot: Why is there no Wonder Man? That's what I thought, Libs.

Goosebumps - The Haunted Mask (Part 1)

The Haunted Mask (Part 1)

Season 1 - Episode 1

from Goosebumps #11

Aired October 27, 1995

Directed by Timothy Bond

Starring a ton of Canadians

Tales from the Crypt - The Thing From the Grave (Season 2, Episode 6)

The Thing From the Grave

Season 2 - Episode 6

from Tales from the Crypt #22

Aired May 8, 1990

Directed by Fred Dekker

Written by Fred Dekker

Worst pun: "Which leaves poor little Stacey fresh out of boyfriends. Oh, well...I'm sure she'll dig one up somewhere."

A jilted Romeo murders his sweetie’s suitors…but maybe there is such a thing as a love that cannot die. 

Colossal - Pacific Rim, But with Feelings and Likable Characters

In which I throw colossal amounts of shade at Big Bob for his taste in movies.