Terrible Blog For Terrible People: Football

Showing posts with label Football. Show all posts

My Memory of Super Bowl XLIX

It's astounding, sometimes, the things that stick with us over the years. We each have a small collection of "I remember where I was when..." moments; they could be 9/11, the birth of a child, the assassination of John F. Kennedy, meeting the woman who would become your wife, etc. These memories are personal, and indelibly stamped on our hippocampi. I'd like to share one of my memories with you today. It's the story of where I was during Super Bowl XLIX.

The end times have come. The Philadlephia Eagles absolutely devastated the Minnesota Hitchbots and now they are one game away from retiring a lifetime of Eagles Trophy Case memes. If that's not bad enough, Chris went 0 for 2 and had to watch two (2) episodes of Steven Universe. It's the Penultimate Pizzagate and we're sadder than ever.

Listen to it here

Swinging Pizzagate - NFL Conference Championship Preview: Puffy AmiYugi-Boy

The playoffs keep chugging along and boy do I have egg on my face. "Make Chris watch Yu-Gi-Oh," I said, "it'll be hilarious." Well joke's on me. Due in part to Stefon Diggs making one of the most ridiculous plays I've ever seen, I was supposed to watch not one, not two, but three episodes of "Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi." Supposed to is the key word.

I've nearly hit my breaking point, and I fear that if the Eagles make it to a Super Bowl I may never recover.

Listen to it here

Swinging Pizzagate - NFL Divisional Round Preview: Undefeated Playoff Quarterback Blake Bortles

The NFL playoffs keep chugga chugga chuggign along. Chris and I split our picks 2-2 last week, meaning both of us got to endure equal punishment. Well, relatively equal. Chris got to watch 2 episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh for the first time, and I was lucky enough to pop my Sonic Underground cherry. It's exactly how it sounds, except messier than normal because of the chili dogs.

Oh and also we talk about this weekend's games. But mostly children's anime from a decade ago.

Listen to it here

Swinging Pizzagate - NFL Wild Card Weekend Preview: Never Running From A Real Fight

Holy shit, we made it through 2017 and one of the most dire seasons in recent memory. The playoffs are here and that's all that matters. The Bills Mafia are playoff bound, Marvin Lewis got another extension, and it turns out that the joke's on Chris because I actually love Sailor Moon. For once, the weekly bet backfired. I'm going to enjoy it while I can because I can only imagine what fresh hell awaits me next week.

Listen to it here

Ten Points About Rob Gronkowski

SEASON'S GREETINGS, BRAH

Robert James "Gronk" Gronkowski has officially been suspended one week by the National Football League. Speaking as a die-hard, unapologetic fanboy, I am in favor of this suspension. His hit, which I will not embed in this blog post, was illegal, unnecessary, and totally out of line. That much is not being debated any serious-minded people. Nevertheless, I have been asked my thoughts about this situation by no less than five people since this happened. I've decided to collect my thoughts in this blog post, and will refer to it when the next person asks me if I think the All-Pro tight end ought to be jettisoned into the heart of the sun. What follows are ten points that I think are absolutely and inherently true.