Upgrade - A Movie That Dares to Ask: What if Venom was Good?



There are many problems with AI, not the least of which being the fact that it's 90 degrees outside as I type this in the middle of October. Upgrade proposes a more ethical use to AI. Some people use it to ask Grok if a picture of pregnant John Cena is real. Our hero uses it to get sweet, bloody revenge.

Street Fighter (2026): A Cautionary Tale


Written by: Kitao Sakurai, T.J. Fixman, Dalan Musson
Directed by: Kitao Sakurai
Starring: Noah Centineo, Andrew Koji, Callina Liang, David Dastmalchian, Andrew Schultz, Roman Reigns, Cody Rhodes, Jason Mimosa, Eric André, 50 Cent

This is what happens when you hew too close to the source material.

Bad Games You Should Play Anyway: Metroid



The trailer for a new Metroid game dropped recently; maybe it's just my algorithm but I've seen a bunch of posts from people who are just getting into the series because of that trailer. It's an encouraging sign; the Metroid series is absolutely worth playing. Super Metroid, Metroid Prime, and Metroid Dread are some of the greatest games ever made. Sure, there have been a handful of slip-ups along the way, but the series is beloved for a very good reason: it's one of the more generally consistent Nintendo franchises in terms of quality. One thing that struck me is that many fans are advising the newcomers to play Metroid: Zero Mission instead of the first game, which inspired me to create a new series on this blog called Bad Games You Should Play Anyway.

Ninja - Mind if a White Boy Studies a Little Bushido?


In a world ruled from the shadows by the invisible hand of the ninja, there are none more feared than the one white guy who studies there. 

Abominable - What if 'Rear Window' Had a Bigfoot?

Every 43 seconds, a new Bigfoot movie is added to Tubi. Watching all of them is not for the faint of heart. Only an experienced moron such as myself can undertake the exhaustive effort of sifting through them. I am but a humble prospector, trying to strike gold. I am very pleased to announce a fat payload, because Abominable is one of The Good Ones.

Fixed: The Worst Movie I'll See All Year


Written by: Jon Vitti, Genndy Tartakovsky (allegedly)
Directed by: Genndy Tartakovsky (allegedly)
Starring: Adam DeVine, Idris Elba, Kathryn Hahn, Fred Armisen
Shat out by: Sony Pictures Animation
Spread around by: Netflix
Runtime: mercifully under 90 minutes

I watched an animated movie about a talking dog and I didn't like it.

Stand by Me - Stephen King's Best Movie

                                                  STAND BY ME MOVIE POSTER Folded 27x41 International Version One Sheet | eBay

Written by: Stephen King, Raynold Gideon, Bruce A. Evans
Directed by: Rob Reiner
Starring: River Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland, John Cusack, Richard Dreyfuss

"It was on the tip of my tongue to tell them about the deer. But I didn't. That was the one thing I kept to myself. I've never spoken or written about it until just now."